So, It Turns Out, Starting A Nonprofit Is Basically The Same As Milking A Cow →

STAGE ONE

So the first thing you should know about me, is that I am a city girl, through and through. I never spent summers down south with a relative…never was a member of 4-H. None of that.

What I am is a 30-year nonprofit expert who has done everything in a nonprofit—from emptying the trash to developing programs; from writing a $3.2 million dollar grant to giving away $7 million for cancer research. So I’ve been around the block a time or two in this sector.

Invariably, I’ll come across a person who is thinking about or just starting a nonprofit who thinks it’s easy. And it reminds me of the time I tried to milk a cow…thinking it would be easy. You grab the teats, squeeze, and voila! Milk, right?

So, it turns out…starting a nonprofit is basically the same thing as milking a cow: a whole lot more complicated than what you’ve been told.

Misinformation can land you in a whirlwind of trouble. For me, it amounted to several failed attempts and a pissed-off cow (Sorry Ms. Daisy). But for a Founder, misinformation about all that goes into starting and running a nonprofit can take them down a path that impacts them emotionally, physically, and financially.

Starting a nonprofit is not as easy as it seems.

You may be able to get through the incorporation part without ending up too battered or bruised. But once you have your tax-exempt status, the real part of “starting” your nonprofit begins. Just like when I went to milk that cow. I was told, “Place a bucket under the cow, grab the teat and pull down so the milk goes into the bucket.” Sounds simple, right?

Except, they omitted some very important steps. Like, before you milk a cow by hand you should lubricate your hands with petroleum jelly or udder cream to reduce friction on the udders (hence the not-so-happy look from Ms. Daisy as I pulled and pulled on her irritated teats).

Or, you need to gently pull on each teat 3-4 times to clear any dirt or bacteria from the mild udders. Umm, Kind of important to know! Hello, eew, bacteria? And, how about telling me how important it is to sit very close to the cow on a low stool, holding the bucket in place with your feet so Ms. Daisy doesn’t knock you or the bucket over because now she’s pissed and wants you out of her space and hands off her teats?

And lastly, it would have been helpful if someone had shared with me that there is a method for expressing the milk: gently clamp a teat between your thumb and first finger, then squeeze downward to push out the milk, maintaining your grip on the base of the teat as you squeeze. Yep, would have been helpful to know.

But I trusted the farmhand when he quickly rattled off instructions, making it seem as easy and doable as can be. In all honesty, it probably was easy for him. Failing to mention all of those steps was probably not done out of malice, but rather omissions of normalcy—meaning, it was normal for the farmhand to naturally take all of those steps he omitted. They come naturally to him.

I’m thinking this must be the case when people share with Founders how easy it Is to start a nonprofit.

They tell them, “All you have to do is get three people to serve as your board members, submit the paperwork, and then BAM! Get that free money.”

Right?

Right. That’s what they’ve been told, but so much of the important stuff has been omitted. Important things, even though the money does not have to be paid back, it comes with strict rules and compliance requirements. Or, that it can take years before your nonprofit is eligible or competitive for a grant. And even if you are, they should have told you that you can’t sustain a nonprofit organization on grants alone. It takes a while before a grant is awarded. And there is no guarantee you’ll even get it.

It’s not as easy as “they” make it sound

But no one bothered to mention that, right? You were banking on starting your nonprofit and getting grants to pay for everything, right? I mean, after all, you’re a nonprofit!

Mooo! That’s me, looking back at you like Ms. Daisy.

Starting and running a nonprofit organization is one of the most challenging things a person can take on. The amount of time, energy, and financial investment required to get it to a level where a Funding agency would like to fund it can be daunting. And it’s important that you understand that going into it.

You will need at least $2,000 to set up your organization: filing fees, consultant fees to develop your bylaws, completing the 1023 form—and all that goes into the incorporation process. Then, you’ll need to come up with that amount every month for the next year or two until you can demonstrate your programs make an impact in your community AND THEN you can start applying for grants.

Nonprofits are businesses. Businesses cost to run: rent, utilities, internet, printing, program costs,  website hosting, marketing, accounting, and insurance—the same costs a for-profit business incurs. Where is that money coming from? Your pocket because those bills have to be paid!

And here’s where our analogy kind of falls apart. Milking a cow isn’t as easy as it seems, but I’m not tied to Ms. Daisy. I can walk away with no major losses outside of a bruised ego for not producing a bucket full of milk. You, on the other hand, are tied to this organization that has major responsibilities.

So what’s my point?

It’s this: Know that starting a nonprofit is not as easy as people make it seem.

There are so many nuances, so many rules and regulations, and so many financial expenses that come with starting and running a nonprofit. And all this is imperative for you to know before you jump into the ring.  If not, you might get smacked in the face by Ms. Daisy’s tail—the farmhand chuckled as he informed me that there’s a good chance there’s manure and bacteria on the tail. 🤢

I don’t want you to be kicked or have a “cow pie” dropped unexpectedly during your process. It’s not nice. Not for a city girl thinking she’s about to milk a cow, and not for a Founder who thinks they’re about to walk into this pile of grant money waiting for them. It doesn’t work that way.

But if you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and do the work, you can create a successful nonprofit based on accurate information and following a system that works to help Founders consistently generate revenue to support their organizations.

Click here to get started with a step-by-step guide for starting your nonprofit—the right way—in 90 Days or less.

P.S. Check out this video on how to milk a cow. Doesn’t he make it seem so simple?